To Dred or Not To Dred was the question...

If you know me, and many of my readers don't know me personally but if you did you would understand why I came to this decision.

The Background:
The reason I decided to grow my natural hair was because I wanted to try dreads. I think if they are kept up dreads look very nice. But once I saw the amount of information on the Internet on how to care for your natural hair, transitioning or not (thanks to Curly Nikki) I wanted to try styling my natural hair...

Present Tense (literally)
And I did!!! (hence the pictures on previous posts)
However, I didn't know what I was in for.
20 minutes of dry detangling
1 Hour to wash or Co-Wash
4-6 Hours of Conditioning and detangling
1-2 Hours of styling
Overnight or more to dry...

Its getting to be way too much for me!!!
I am sooooooooo low maintenance it's not even funny. And for me, what I just described is out of control!


On Second Hand!
I have to admit that after all of that work that I put in, it is very encouraging to see the end results and to receive all of the compliments on my dooo. But for all of that work, the dooo only last 3-4 days tops...and that is if I am pushing it! There is no changing it up or going to a "easy style" for the day...its a whole ordeal just to make a easy style...

So Getting to the Point:
I am going back to my decision to dread! (I think!)
I will look for someone to start my dreads and see whats the verdict on washing my hair and greasing or oiling my scalp. That is the deciding factor because of my need to wash once a week because of my dry scalp. So this is TO BE CONTINUED!!!

So I co-washed...

"Co-Wash" means conditioner only washing-no shampoo...

As a transitioner, (transitioning my hair from it's chemically relaxed state back to it's natural state)I am always reading blogs and searching the internet to get a better understanding of how to care for my transitioning hair, my transitioning life and my transitioning self image as well as self esteem.

Prior to transitioning, I began relaxing my hair @ 15ish..which means for 17 years I have been pumping chemicals into my hair, bloodstream and body. Its tough to see it written here as well as tough to grasp the full velocity of what that actually means.
My hair was in good-relaxed condition. Products produced manageable hair, however, without those products my hair wasn't very manageable. My scalp was in poor condition. For as long as I remember putting relaxers in my hair, I had bad dandruff. In recent years, the dandruff got worse with terrible, almost unbearable itching.

In my research co-washing seems to produce moisture and helps to detangle. And after trying it for myself I have to say I love it. My dandruff didn't return until a little over a week (which is a huge change from day 2 dandruff)the smell was amazing even after the week and well into week 2.

Here is what I have learned though...
A: Co-wash routing should be:
Prep to co-wash:
Oil scalp and ends gently, separate hair while dry(letting oils marinate), detangle sections with fingers. Now we are ready to co-wash.

You will need:
a good smelling yet cheap/water based conditioner
big tooth comb
detangling conditioner
scrunchies
Water source

To Co-wash:
Put oiled, detangled, separated sections in scrunchies.
Immerse under water
Take the sections one by one and saturate with cheap conditioner (don't be shy)
Let sit for 5 minutes-not ringing out extra water

Take section, one by one and finger detangle gently. Then rinse conditioner out while still in scrunchies.

~Apply detangling conditioner being careful not to manipulate too much as you will tangle it up again.
~Allow to sit for 5 minutes then use big tooth comb to gently comb each section from ends to root.
~Rinse while still in scrunchies
~Apply cheap conditioner and rinse

Then Style...

Tips:
I need to co-wash every other week. I can not rule out shampoo altogether just yet.
Be extra gentle when finger detangling and using a comb. In the event that the tangles just won't detangle, add more conditioner, let sit and run under water while detangling.

Good Luck! Pics coming!

My Glam Squad..

Here are my skincare products. I am showing this because unlike most people, I am old fashion. I use pure soap and "cold cream... I don't really have a philosophy behind being old sckool just that they have worked for all of these years...





No to take a look inside the Glam Squad House...(the make up bag)
This is like a never ending bottomless pit...But this exersise helped me clean it out...

This says it all...

"I decided to stop complementing everybody else. I'm done bowing down for others...now its my time "-Nicki Minaj

I think that courage! Courage that I admire and long to have for my own aspirations!
Some day!

Still Trucking Along!

I learned a new craft, Crocheting!!! These hats are to be donated to the hospital. I have made several more since this picture and I am on my way to starting a new project! Whoo-hooo!

The Crafter in Me...

So I stepped into my new found hobby by going beyond what I have taught myself to do and meeting up with a new band of sisters!!!

For the first time I joined the AA County Sit and Stitch group. A band of knitters, crocheters and other crafts; and they ROCK!!!

There was chitting and chatting, there was knitting and crocheting; there were talks of personal lives and professional ones but mostly there was a group of women, from different backgrounds and life experiences all stitching together- it was a lovely sight!

These women exzooded confidence in themselves as crafters and in the less-confident crafter (that would be me!), they were not only warm and inviting but encouraging and willing to teach; they embraced me like I have been there from the beginning and I really enjoyed thier company.

I am going back this weekend!!!
These are my projects.
1. A soon to be scarf! (I hope before the winter comes!)
2. I tried to teach myself to crochet but it didnt go so well, so this is a bookmark (I guess???)
3. My second project that I started. Changing colors was still new to me and I am not sure as to what this will be.

The Results...

Here is the results of my first knot out. It was beautiful! I received numerous compliments about it and it lasted 3days out and one day in a bun. I am still working on the signature bun but this is more-than-likely a style that will be rocked again. Also this was wet styled so i am going to try it blowdried, then styled to see if my roots will look a little better.

In my blog-researching, I noticed that many people either talk about or ask about the transitioners self esteem.
Well my story is like manys...I had good self esteem, I wouldn't say it was great or high but it wasn't bad or low. It was positioned in the middle but more on the higher side. But weather we are willing to admitt it or not, our hair plays a big part in our self esteem, men and women because it has the ability to alterr the way you look to yourself and to others. So with that said, my self esteem has taken much of a hit on this roller coaster ride of transitioning. Some days are harder than others or lower than others and some days are better than others or higher than others. But every week sometimes twice a week on those lower or harder days, I have a conversation with myself saying "Self, you will not get a perm today. We will see the thing through" and depending on how I feel aftter that, I might have to go over the pros and cons of the two situations. I really realized and recognized that this was going on yesterday. There were some events happening with my family and I just couldn't get it together; this was the lowest it had ever been. And I realized this is why there is so much chat about it, becase this is what people are going through. Now, I will see what I will do better to make my self esteem higher bit recognizing that this is a problem for me is the first step to fully transitioning. And in mu honest opinion, you can't fully transition until your hair and your emotions about your hair are delt with, and that's from a future psychologist counseling others and herself/I mean myself. I hope this helps!

A W. I. P. (work in progress)

Well, I am a work in progress. I'm still working the natural look, every 3 to 4 days I have to say to myself "I am not getting a perm!" a couple times when it was really close I had to look at myself in the mirror and say it. It is complicated but this thing didn't get complicated until styling came into play. I was happy to rock a ponytail but it no longer looks the same. With thicker roots I don't like the look; it doesn't look the way I used too.

So now what?
Well so far I tried a twist out which FAILED and a braid out which looked great for one day. I got lots of compliments on that style so that was encouraging and I will try it again.

But today I am trying a air dry knot out. I will post pics once it dries. 

My life in Transition...

Life has many transitions- some that warrant drama and some that don’t. However any woman would understand the drama behind this area that is in transition…MY HAIR!!!

I made the decision 4 months ago to go “natural”. I have been relaxer/ perm free for almost 5 months and it has been a crazy roller coaster every since. Only because I don’t do very well with change-which means I can’t make up my mind!

First, the whole reason for the decision was that dreads was the way that I was going. Well, I changed my mind! Now I am trying to leave my hair out and style it as it grows out.

Well, let’s start from the beginning. The decision was made and I have been just rocking a ponytail and that’s it. However, my roots have been extremely thick and my ponytail wasn’t lying as neat and sleek as it usually is. But you know you can’t get anything past your family- especially the women!!!

They proceeded to “rip me a new one” about the state of my hair (talk about needing thick skin!) But anyone who has gone through the transition or is in transition knows that your hair goes through an “ugly” phase and if you don’t know, please understand that it will (prepare yourself). Anyhoo, my family knows that I am very low maintenance when it comes to my hair but they also know that I have a lot of hair! So, I decided to use this blog to document my progress and the process of it.
So, lets get to it!

Products:



These are some products that I had in my cabinet. I have not gone out to purchase new items for going natural. I believe that you shouldn’t go “cold turkey” on everything when transitioning. It is just like being on drugs, I have been chemical-lizing my hair for at least 15 years, my hair and scalp could go through withdrawal, you never know, so I am deciding to ease my way into the natural state.

Also, I was already using staple products in my repertoire that infused moisture and promoted healthy hair I will not change unless I see a change in my hair and scalp. Many people believe that they have to chuck out all of their old products and go purchase new ones which will be pretty expensive- I don't think so!

Look at your hair regimen that you were using and figure out why you were using these products; see if they are worth carrying over into your new natural regimen. If not, wait until they run out then invest in new products; on at a time. Some people may be like me who runs out and invest whole heartedly in an idea and don’t really think it all the way through. I have wasted a lot of time and money on these half-witted ideas that took my time and money and it went no where FAST! So take it slow, research and invest in staple products that can be multi-talented for you and your needs.

Styling:
Oh Lawd!! I am trying y’all! I am soooo not a fan of big hair. I think it is gorgeous on some people, men and women but not on me. Not only do I just not like it on me, but just in case you didn’t know, I am a teacher of 3 and 4 year olds so having my hair out and all over the place is not conducive to my line of work. However, through the use of blogs and other internet based information, I am finding more options. So here are the results of my first twist out and braid out… (I had no idea what this meant until I researched it!) lol!


Lord Help Me!!!

Trials...

Trials only come to make you stronger... don't try to fight them, hide from them or do away with them because it is through this process that we learn more about ourselves, our God and our faith in God.

This builds character, strengthens our heart, our skin and our walk. It also gives us courage to move forward or forces us to dig down deep within for courage and confidence... either way when you come out...and you will come out...you will have grown tremendously-if you stay the course.

So buckle down and ride out the storm, the trial and the tribulation for there is a light at the end of the tunnel and blessings abound THERE!  

Stepping Out... Seriously...

God is my shield and my protection. He is my provider and my comforter and I trust in His plans for me.

I have had many "genius" ideas; but I have been a chicken when it comes to stepping out and putting them into motion. The Bible says "Faith without works is dead" which means that I (I'm making it personal but "you") I can believe in God all I want, I can believe in His plan for me and I can believe that everything will come into play as I am praying that they will BUT...if I don't step out on my faith and put my faith into action nothing will come from nothing.

So here I am, 31 and 1/2 longing to own my own business, longing for my degree, longing to step out and impact not only my life but the lives of the people around me. But what am I doing about it? Until now, NOTHING!!! absolutely NOTHING!

If you haven't noticed yet, I have come across some hard realizations and now its time to walk in them.

1. I am drawn to reality TV for a reason-I don't watch the drunken junk, I watch people living out their dream while I am sitting at home admiring them. Watching them so much that I make their dreams mine...

2. What ever business I want to start, I am going to have to be willing to get down and dirty and make MY business something out of nothing!

3. God is my rock and my shield and it is His plan that I branch out to spread my love and knowledge touching lives along the way.

4. My life has a purpose! I need to put it to use!

5. It's My Time To SHINE!


So this is it. I have had "genus" ideas and have done nothing with them... I am dusting them off the shelf and bringing them to life.

Be with me Lord as you always are and as you have promised that you would always be.

Coping in a relationship...

It’s tough to be in a full time relationship where everyone has opinions and think that their opinions are right. Especially when those opinions result to a fight/quarell/ argument...whatever you want to call it. Everyone is on the defense, no one wants to back down and everything leads to another argument...

So what to do in a situation like this?

Well the wanna be-psychologist side of my brain says keep the peace, exist until you can make a mends or make peace if you were wrong. Be cautious of the way you approach any type of communication because the defense mechanism in the other person will make them automatically assume that they need to get ready for war.

However, as the other person on the other side of this war, I feel ready to fight...ready to load my verbal guns, arm my general with fiery sentences that will pierce and dagger at my opponent physically and emotionally just as they have done me! But will there be a victor? or will this end in more hurt and maybe in shame for me or the opponent that I obviously care about.

And with every confrontation, the decision we make in these moments is how we decide to cope in a relationship...

So pray in these times and FOR these times that you need to make the right decision; because as we all know, the wrong decision could end the relationship that before this confrontation ment so much to us...Good LUCK!

YADA... YADAH...

The definition of YADA is "to know intimately". This could refer to ones self, another person or God.

The definition of YADAH is "a form of praise. To throw up your hands and outwardly praise God."

This subject line comes from my love of a newly discovered book and author... The Yada Yada Prayer Group written by Neta Jackson. I was introduced to this book by mere accident. In the library, I had researched a different book on the computer, wrote the information down as to where I should be able to find it only to arrive there and it wasn't there. I skimmed the shelves looking for the information that I had wrote down only to decide that again, it wasn't there. As I turned away in a huff, I decided not to allow my now half hour search for a book that wasn't there be in vain. So I skimmed the shelf one last time when a pink book caught my eye and that introduced me into the world of Ms. Neta Jackson and the Yada Yada Prayer Group.

This book was inspiring, funny, sad, and I couldn't put the thing down. And I liked it so much that I spied a book right next to it with the same title, same author but with a subtitle... So yes I will be reading the next book. One thing I hate, absolutely despise is when I get into a book, like the way the author writes and then cant find anything else that the person has written... So on the library's website, I went to place a hold on the book that I saw next to it but couldn't remember the subtitle. Without a second thought I typed in the authors name. Pages of books written by the same author appeared under The YYPG title with more subtitles. I even googled it and found the authors website to search for the order that the books were written in. To my surprise, there are at least 8 books. Six under the YYPG with subtitles; but reading the authors website I found that there are now YYPG spin offs... I am excited and will attempt to read them all! I will keep you updated!

i'm so inspired

Although a hobby, blogging is a serious feat. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and expertise (some may disagree to that) with whom ever will read/listen. But a true hobby and a sure fire thought provoking avenue is when I choose to follow a blog. I don’t have to know the person personally, but there was something that caught my eye on their blogs that invited me to follow it. And every now and again, I read on or two that truly inspire me in some area of my life. So to all of my note worthy bloggers, people are watching and we are talking. Thanks for the inspiration and I only hope to inspire someone like you have inspired me today! “ummmm-ummm”-cyber hug!

Dreams...the unknown thoughts...

It is said that dreams are nighttime thoughts. Supposedly your brain is still thinking as you sleep...I have no idea. But I do know that when I dream, I dream in very vivid, very real scenes and unfortunately I don't remember most of what I dream. But I went through a period of time when I didn’t dream and I knew that this was a problem. I don’t know what the problem was but it is fixed.

So, before I forget let me tell you about my dream. I had several...

In the first one I was at a sink, in a school washing dishes and a girl was standing next to me. I noticed that she was pregnant but wearing clothes that were big to hide it. I whispered to her "so how far along are you" and before she spoke she began to pee, on the floor. She then whispered "my water broke but no one can know" so I grabbed he hand and told her to come with me and just act like you hurt your ankle; and her and I headed off her limping and me helping. Then I woke up...

In the second one (that I remember) I was pregnant riding in my van-yes I still have the van. I got out to go somewhere and a little kid walked by and hit me in my stomach. I called 911 and when they came we went to talk to the child's parent. It was his mother. The police and the mother accused me of trying to sue them but I wanted to teach the child that actions have consequences. I didn’t want anything from them. The mother got angry and went to the opening of the sewer. I saw her doing this so I headed to the van. She pulled out this huge rat and began to chase me. I jumped in the van but I couldn’t pull off because my keys were down in my purse and I couldn’t find them. Just as I found them and stuck them in the ignition, she was trying to stick the rat in the crack I left in the driver side window. I turned the van on and rolled up the window as fast as I could. She then jumped on top of the van, busted the window on the very top and dropped the rat down in the van. It was crawling on the inside ceiling of the van coming right towards me just as I woke up.

I have no idea what these dreams mean. If you can interpret them please do!

A Spring Clean...

Spring is a time for growth (and maturity), reaping from your sowing and enjoying the fruits of your labor...or recognizing that there is no fruit because there wasn't any labor.

Well, thats precisly me and my cognitive state right now. As you can see, I have changed the look of my blog, declutterized it and I am happy with that. But I am also recognizing that there is no fruit for me to enjoy because I have not labored in this particular area. So now the labor begins.

New thoughts,
Different Topics,

are the on the to do list roaming in my head. So please look forward to them! Thank you for your support!